On Tolerance–Part 2

For Part 1, go here.

These pictures are from three years ago when we were at my parents’ house for Thanksgiving. Since we do not have piles of leaves in our immediate area, it was like an amusement park for my girls.

A short story about the half-Hispanic/half-Iranian boys from the last post. The girls were more rude to them than the other boys in class. The boys were not actually rude to them, but just avoided them. One day for their art class, most of their class was late except for the two boys I liked so much. As people trickled in, the seats filled up, and of course the last seats available were the ones by the two. The most obnoxious girl of all came in last, and there was no place for her to sit except beside one of the twins. She made a HUGE scene. Not being a “real teacher” and having little “teeth” last year to effectively manage problem behavior, I told her to sit down or go back to her class. But those nice boys got someone to trade with them so they were next to another more unpopular student so the mean girl could sit with her friends. I do not know if she thought about that, but I hope someday the memory is at least a small wake-up call.

Chic is the top of her class. Last year she was in 1st grade and was in a classroom with 1st and 2nd graders. She was ahead of everyone in reading, spelling and math. We knew long before Chic ever went to school she would be a star scholastically, so we have worked with her since before Kindergarten to help her understand that although she understands school subjects better than a lot of people and is ahead, she is not better than anyone. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and just  because she can do some things  better than most kids does not mean they cannot do some things better than her. She understands this. We have made every effort to assure her humility, and it seems to have been successful. But this does not mean other parents have done the same. Chic is mocked severely for being ahead of her class. This happened a little last year, but to a greater degree this year.

Although Chic easily overheats, she does not like wearing shorts to school because they show her muscular legs. She has not a bit of fat on her body, but her legs are bigger than all of the rest of the girls, and they make fun of her because she is different than they are.  Yes, she can run faster and jump higher than any of them, and she is chosen for teams right away, but because she looks different, she is fodder for derision. (And seeing other behavior in the children, I sometimes wonder if part of it also has to do with her pale skin and red hair.)

Forgive me for being irritated that I am doing all I can to raise well-behaved, good-mannered, kind and caring children who do their best to excel at whatever they attempt (at least the first one–the jury is way out on whether the second one will even care about excelling) when it seems like the parents of my daughters’ peers are not bothering to raise them much at all and are apparently modeling inappropriate behavior. As parents I feel like Prince Charming and I might have failed Chic because we taught her humility, not how to face the bullies. We wanted to make sure she would not be a bully. We never dreamed one so successful in everything she does would be treated with such disrespect. (We are diligently working on this now.  Should we tell her when people make fun of her legs to say, “At least I don’t have skinny bird legs like you!” No, that is not how we believe anyone should be treated. But it is difficult to teach a child  humility without putting them in a position of getting squashed in school.)

When I was in elementary school, I remember my parents talking about a relative who married an African-American. (Let’s go back more than 30 years to near the very center of the United States.) During the discussion these words came out of my mom’s mouth: “It doesn’t bother me what they do, but it’s the kids who will suffer.” That caught my attention. I said, “Why does it hurt the kids?” Both of my parents explained that they would be neither “white” nor “black,” so neither family or race would fully accept them. I asked why. They explained how people do not accept people not like themselves. I said, “But your making the statement in the first place shows that you think they are different.” I loved my parents, and I truly think there were not much better ones put anywhere in the world, but potentially a filter in what they said in front of my brother and I would have been wise at such a time. Statements like that in front of children would likely encourage children treat the “unfortunate” children differently in most cases. It is no different today.

My belief is that most parents — if they even think about it — want their children to be replicas of themselves; they want them to have the same opinions and beliefs. (Maybe deep down I want that, too, but if it happens, I want them to arrive there on their own, not because I told them to or showed them no other options.) Most parents in my realm (I can only speak for my small corner of the world) have not been educating their children to accept all people as I attempt to educate mine. Maybe in more cosmopolitan areas there is more tolerance for people not like oneself, but I have not seen much in the places I have lived.

But I am going to say that from my experience in Blogland, there might be tolerance for people who are different in ethnicity, but not a lot of tolerance for differences of opinion. No, not everyone is like that, but I really am amazed at the statements I see coming out of blogs with abject criticism of people with differing opinions–not just criticism of these opinions, but also of the people who have them. (And if you are reading this, you are likely not the writer of one of the blogs to which I refer.)

I am much too cynical realistic to think the lack of tolerance in the world is ever going to dramatically change. But I can assure you, it will not even budge if people cannot handle a viewpoint that is not their own without attacking (even mentally) the person who holds it. And if people cannot refrain from attacking people not like them, no matter in what way, I do not see a better future for anyone.

This is the end of my “tolerance” post. It was originally one, but it ended up way too long, so I cut it in half. There will soon be more on things that I believe relate to this topic and society in general and how all of that relates to our family.

 

A Tiny Glimpse of Portland, Maine — My World Tuesday

When I went on this last trip, I purposefully did two things to make sure I did not sleep in and hang out in my hotel room all day.  (Stay-at-home moms of young children are tired and the opportunity to do nothing is a strong call.) The most important thing was to not take a book to read. I really have no self-control whatsoever if I have a book. The second thing was to get some clues for letterboxes.

As I mentioned in my last post, my camera was not behaving as it should for a large part of this trip–including ALL of the Maine portion. Thus these pictures lack a bit to be desired. The problem was that it would not always take a picture when I aimed it unless I put it on fully manual which meant I could get nothing quickly, and there was a big foggy spot on the left side (or top for vertical pictures.)

Most of these pictures were from an early-morning letterboxing exursion. I found two boxes (out of two–that was exciting), and saw some places I would not have seen without this wonderful hobby.  (If you want a much better look at Portland, go here. She lives in the area and posts fabulous pictures all the time.)

This is looking over Back Cove a little after sunrise. I loved the skyline in the distance, but when I uploaded the photo, I was also enchanted with the tree in the foreground.

This is about where I was standing when I took the cove picture. This place was enchanting, too. Of course the sundial is nice, but I really liked the branch shadows on the stone bench.

I did not follow my clues properly and walked quite a distance up a street that wasn't necessary, but the view was worth it. There is nothing about this place, except the blue sky, that is like where I live.

I love quaint street scenes like this. (Sorry for the really fuzzy top.)

Another enchanted house. These hydrangeas (I think--they are bigger than I've ever seen) were all over.

My World is a weekly meme in which participants are virtual tour guides. Go check it out and see the worlds of others. Or better yet, take a look at the guidelines, and do your own My World Post!

 

Nothingness (In More Than 1000 Words)

The photos below have nothing to do with this post. I had no pictures to put with the post, so I just took a series that I was pretty sure would never make it to SkyWatch Friday. This is a sunrise about 3 weeks ago. The pictures were taken within about two minutes and I think include the view from every direction from my house.

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Before I started blogging, I hesitated quite a long time to do it, even though pressured to do it by two of my cousins. The main reason was time. I  knew I did not have time. I still do not, as evidenced by my irregular posting and visiting. But another reason is that I thought it was a bit narcissistic. I thought WHO CARES about the daily happenings of anyone else.  Before I dove in myself, I spent several months reading other blogs. I realized they are not all self-absorbed. (I do not read the ones that I think are.)

However, I have been thinking about my blog lately because one fairly regular reader and commenter once said something like “whatever your blog is about.”  I laughed (I often laugh at his comments; he has a wonderful sense of humor whether or not he means to be humorous.) because it is true.  My blog has no theme. I knew it would not, but it is glaringly apparent when compared to the blogs I visit. Most could be categorized as something. Mine cannot. It is about me. It does not get much more narcissistic than that. And this post will probably be the worst yet. Thank you to all you who come here even though the topics are so varied and there might be three sentences one visit and an epistle the next. And for putting up with me.

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Today I did not really want to say anything about September 11 because so many others have. I also find it irritating how something so tragic that drew a nation together for a few days (or an afternoon?) is now often used in a political sense to tear it apart. (Certainly not everyone, but I have seen plenty of  “Remember 9/11, and be sure you remember why this event makes me right in my political opinions.” I have seen this from opposing viewpoints. Can we just remember a tragedy without being disparaging?) I rarely mention politics in  this space because I hate politics. I hate extremes. I think all sides have extremes. I think the extreme left and the extreme right both want to take away freedom–just in different ways that appeal only to them. (My viewpoints make both sides upset, so if I really got into this, I would likely alienate my entire readership.)  I hate statements that have little other purpose than to be inflammatory. I hate it when people can dish it out but cannot take it.  So I choose to avoid the topic entirely–most of the time. Which is why I was going to avoid any mention of 9/11.  But something compelled me to tell my part of that day’s story. I was pregnant with Chic. I was at work. The tiny television in the Conference Room was on for people to watch the horrific scene over and over. (I am personally not a fan of watching the same tragedy over and over.) Then the Pentagon was hit. Just a couple of weeks before that Prince Charming had been doing an internship at the Pentagon. (Leaving my pregnant self home alone much of the summer.) What was horrible before was real then. But real for me was not, and will never be, what real was for the people who lived and worked  in New York City and Washington, D.C. on that day or who lost someone. They know real. The rest of us just speculate.

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In my car today, on the way to drop off some stamps and to pick up Chic, I suddenly started crying about my mother. There is  nothing special about today in relation to her, but maybe I was thinking about the 9/11 loss. Chicklet was talking to me, and I could not even speak. When I started blogging, I thought I would write a lot about my mother. About her life. About her death. About her 10-year dying process. But I have written very little. Some days I want to just unload it all. But part of me is afraid. The few times I  have discussed her before, the reactions have not been at all what I expected. My reason for wanting to share her story has to do with lessons learned. It is not about me at all. I do not want sympathy or consoling words. I want people to understand what happened and why. I guess I do not know how to say it in a way to make people understand, or else I am not ready. But today, I missed her.

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Last Friday (or Saturday, I don’t remember when it went up) I did a post and said I would see you on Monday. I did not. The day had several totally unexpected things happen (I spent most of the day in front of the computer working on things for Art Class), but ended well (and also unexpectedly) with an afternoon/evening with our “gaming friends” playing Settlers of  Catan–Cities and Knights. (And have been behind blogging since.)

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Now for some more random (and hopefully lighter than the first two sections) things…

1– I  have decided I do not like cooking much right now. Nothing has changed, really, but I get SO. MUCH. ACCOMPLISHED on days I do not cook. I am great at multi-tasking, but I think I hate it. When I cook, I want to focus on cooking. When I cannot focus on it, I think I would rather not do it at all.

2– Our electricity has been flashing lately for every thundercloud that goes over. I realize this is common in some parts of the country (southern Missouri, for example), but it is not common here. And it is starting to get on my nerves because I am at a computer so much of the time.

3– I have two times a day when I can think–really think. Those times are when I exercise and when I cook. (And cooking might involve so many other things that it does not count.) But I am thinking about a post relating to my aerobic activity which is biking (usually to school, but sometimes in the neighborhood). It will mostly be a rant, but I cannot get it out of my head.

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4– My husband is gone. He will be gone most of the weekend at a seminar related to his position at church. I hate it when he is gone. (For many reasons not the least of which he is not here to have water boiling on the stove to add to my bath when it gets cold–because I do not like running water in the tub because the wait for hot water is too long.)

5– Tonight’s bath is scented with Black Amethyst from Bath and Body Works. I was not into that scent much during the heat of summer, but I am liking it a lot again now. (Have I told you how absolutely glorious September is in this part of the country?)

6– My biggest project of the week has been doing my taxes. No, not estimated quarterlies, but the ones that were due on April 15. The last few years we have filed for extensions (even though we always get money back) because I do not have time to do them (and Prince Charming, forgive me, is useless in this area). But they have NEVER been this late. If I were married to Daryl (which I think is impossible because neither of us are lesbians, though neither of us oppose them and their relationships, and who also has a wonderful 9/11 post today), she would have divorced me by now for how long this has taken. Prince Charming is just happy he does not have to bother with financial things.

7– I really, really, REALLY do not like word verification on Blogspot. Really.

8– When I grow up, I want to be her.

 

My Crepe Myrtle–My World Tuesdsay

I know, I know. You are waiting for pictures of my recent trip. But we just got back last  night. I am in the throes of laundry and unpacking. I have not even glanced at half of my pictures yet. There is plenty of time. Today must be quick, so I thought if my Crepe Myrtle bush was this interesting to me, it might be to you.

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We bought it three or four years ago. I thought it was a deep, medium-pink like the pink in the picture above. But it has always been red. (Also like in the picture above.) When it first bloomed I was slightly disappointed because I had something that I did not plan on  having. But I soon  warmed up to it because I like things unusual and different, and I have never seen another one with red blooms.

But this year the bush decided to put on a different kind of display. The  blooms, both pink and red above, are from my bush. But the one below is as well. Some blooms are white. After three of four years of only red, I have no idea what would make this tinting and shading happen, but I find it intriguing and quite pretty. (If you have an idea what causes this, please enlighten me!)

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My World is a weekly meme in which participants are virtual tour guides. Go check it out and see the worlds of others. Or better yet, take a look at the guidelines, and do your own My World Post!

 

Last Day for Giveaway

To those of you who have already seen this, I apologize, but I wanted to remind everyone about my giveaway, and the last post had other things that were not exactly pleasant. (Cut finger.) So I thought I would just copy the giveaway part from that post and paste it here.

This is your last chance to sign up. I’ll be drawing winners tomorrow (Thursday) and hopefully do a quick post about the winners on Friday.  (But Prince Charming has Friday off work for the holiday, and we’re going to spend the day with our “gaming friends.”)

First, I do not like to do this to get more traffic or comments, so you are required to E-MAIL ME if you want to be entered! Just e-mail louisestamps at aol dot com and let me know you want to enter. (Please put “giveaway” in the subject line.)  There will be two winners. Prince Charming will draw names, and the first one has first choice of what s/he wants.  The other person will get what is left. (But I do not make slouchy things, so I think that is OK, and it is free, OK?)

Here is an idea of the prizes:

1) Handmade cards. There will be these four, but I will probably throw in a couple of others for which I did not immediately have samples. (I have already made two others to go with this pile.)

2) A Banner. But not this one or one even like it, but you get the idea. I have not made it yet, and I decided to wait because the winner can pick the colors (within reason). It will be a “SUMMER” banner (NOT “MERRY”). It is a home decor item–large enough to fit over a double window or in a hallway. Each pennant is about 6″ wide and 9″ long. (I did not measure, but am doing this from a memory. I am too lazy at the moment to get out something to measure.)

You have through TODAY, Wednesday, July 1, to e-mail me. If these things do not interest you, but you think they might interest someone you know, consider entering to give as a gift.

I am also thinking of adding a third prize, but you can tell me if you would be interested. I am not a great photographer. I take some very good pictures, but I do not edit them (other than occasional cropping when I am not too lazy) and I have still not figured out all the manual settings on my camera. I hesitate to do this one because I am so small in a big photography world. But I know a few have really liked some of my pictures. So I could also make a set of cards from my pictures. If you want to enter and that interests you, let me know. It could be a “Louise’s choice” thing, or the winner could choose from pictures I have posted.

OK, I think that’s it for today. But I forgot to tell you THANK YOU for hanging with me for a year. I went back and read a few of my first posts, and many of my readers are the same. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate that you come and read the drivel things I write and look at my photos. If it were not for you, I know I would have quit blogging entirely the couple of times I have had to take extended breaks due to my crazy schedule. YOU keep me coming back! Thank you.

 

What’s Going On

To my wonderful, loyal, faithful readers. I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate you!

The Art Show last week went well.  It was combined with a recital. (1st and 2nd grade did a group recital with recorders, grades 3-5 a group recital with violins, grades 6-8 a group recital with guitars, preschool-Kindergarten sang a song or two–Chicklet was invited to participate with them which was a fun surprise–she was smashing, and individual piano recitals–Chic’s first.)

But my life is no slower, and I do not see it getting that way until mid-June when summer is here and we are back from our semi-annual trip to Missouri (which is going to include a side-trip to North Dakota this year.) You know I am behind at visiting you, and obviously posting. I will try to get a thing or two up here, but no promises. My life is scheduled to the maximum second, and right now there are many, MANY other things take up the “spare” time I have never had. (The Art Show is an example. I am the art teacher, and I am the only one who made it happen.  I had absolutely no help, which is not necessarily bad, but it might give you a tiny insight into my time limitations. This week I have to disassemble it all, among other things.)

So I will be visiting My World and Sky Watch since I am on the team for those memes, but no commenting because I do not want to encourage return visits to the current nothingness of this blog. I will make efforts when I can to visit you, but it is likely I will do what I do not wish and “mark all as read” on everything before this is all over with.

I do miss you. And I apologize. But when I have a few extra minutes on a weekend or evening, I need to spend it with my family right now.

So I will see you around. Hopefully soon, but I just do not know.

Again, thank you for your faithfulness. I never forget these things, even if I do not have an opportunity to respond at the moment.

Louise

 

The Sky is Falling — SkyWatch

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To see LOTS more terrific sky pictures or to find out how to participate in this meme, head to the SkyWatch blog.

 

What We’re Doing Tonight

I should have posted this sooner, but I did not have time. I hope it’s not too late for someone who did not know about this already to participate.

And what are you doing tonight from 8:30 till 9:30 pm? I plan to be home in the dark. (But that does not mean I will be sitting around, bored, with nothing to do!)

Each year, individuals, governments and businesses around the globe are encouraged to switch off their lights for one hour – Earth Hour.

Earth Hour is an Australian initiative that began in Sydney in 2007 to help combat climate change. In 2008, Earth Hour involved between 50 and 100 million people in 370 cities and towns around the world, including Chicago, Toronto, Copenhagen, Dublin, Atlanta and Bangkok. Earth Hour 2009 takes place on Saturday 28 March. By turning off our lights, we can send a message to the world’s leaders that strong action needs to be taken to combat climate change.

For more information go to: http://www.earthhour.org.

One more thing. I am not the type of person to participate in something like this just today, and not every day. If I were not already doing most everything I can to conserve resources, I would not do this unless I planned to start now to make this a daily part of my life. It is not that difficult to turn off the lights once in a while, or even reduce their use every day. (Granted a little tougher with kids in the family who just do not learn to always turn off lights, but they can be trained to do better,  and we can get more exercise going here and there to turn them off after they have left them on.)  If conservation is not your way of life, try to think of some things you can do to head in that direction. If it is your way of life, maybe there is one more thing we can do.  I am just not into one-day changes about anything.

 

Crime and Punishment (And Other Useless Tidbits of My Life)

One morning last week I was lying in bed, rather groggy, just before 5 a.m. Prince Charming gets up between 4:30 and 4:50 every morning, so he was downstairs. Then I heard this strange sound, sort of a jingling. I could tell it was coming up the stairs. Then I heard Prince Charming breathing. I cracked open an eye to see what was making the jingling noise. Just then he said, “You asked for ice in your water, right?”

“WHAT?”

Reader, you must understand that I drink a lot of water. I drink it all day long. I drink it before I go to bed. (Thank goodness I have a strong bladder.) But I never, EVER drink water in the morning before something else goes in my mouth. I cannot tolerate the taste of water on morning, yukky-mouth! I must eat or brush my teeth before drinking water, neither of which is going to happen by 5 a.m. on most mornings. This is a known fact in the household. The other thing to know is that I do not like ice water in my giant 34-oz. mug because it STAYS icy forever. I like cool water, but have sensitive teeth. Cold water is not a good thing.

My voice squeaked (because I barely had a voice) out, “Uhhh, no, but thank you!” (Who am I to chastise my husband at 5 a.m. for bringing me ice water?)

Apparently Prince Charming had dreamed that I had asked for ice water. This is strange because he never remembers his dreams. Now that I am thinking about it, maybe he remembers lots of them, but he mixes them up with reality!

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This is what it looks like around my computer these days.  (And a mug of water–icy or not.)

By the way, I just found these cough drops. They are my favorite. EVER. They are not too strong, but they work, and they have a “soothing honey center.” I live for that center!

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Last Wednesday morning found the three females of the house getting ready to go to school. It was in a more relaxed manner than normal for a Wednesday because the oldest female was sick enough that she decided she would not be teaching art that day. (This has nothing to do with this story, but I must tell you that I am NOT the type to cop out on something like that. But Wednesdays are non-stop for me from 5 a.m. – 9 p.m. with minimum 3 different “jobs” or activities, and art is the most draining of all. I knew I would not last in a functioning manner until the end of the day, so something had to go. I have more flexibility with art that the other things.)

I was upstairs herding the girls when I realized an altercation was in process regarding an Ariel music box belonging to Chic (purchased IN Disneyland on Chic’s 5-year-birthday-trip) which Chicklet had apparently broken. This is not the first incident in which Chicklet assumed ownership of anything that suited her and somehow altered it. Thankfully, it was something that was easy to fix, but this did not excuse  Chicklet’s behavior, so it was time for punishment for her crime.

Me: “Chicklet, you know we do not play with anyone’s toys unless they are here, we ask and they allow it.”

Chicklet (meekly): “I know.”

Me: “Do you want to throw away some of your toys or get a ’spank?’”

Chicklet: “Throw away one of my toys.”

Me:  “Go get something. But I will decide if it is eligible.”

Chicklet ran off and brought back a Polly she had gotten from McDonald’s. NOT eligible! I told her that she needed to find something else. But she could still choose the “spank.” She preferred to throw away toys, so she ran down the hall again.

Chic (with worry and concern all over her face): “A spank would be better!”

Me: “I know, but she does not think so.”

So Chic ran down the hall and commenced to tell Chicklet all the merits of getting a quick spank vs. throwing out toys FOREVER! Chicklet was not moved. The discussion lasted quite some time. She returned with another Polly to add to the pile.  She did not even cry. In fact, she skipped away.

Maybe I need to think of some other punishment.

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Posting Holiday 2

Sorry!!!

No SkyWatch

or

My World

(or anything else)

posts until I get caught up. I will be visiting you, but there will be nothing here to see for a little while.

For my regular readers, there is a more detailed explanation in the post below.

For everyone, go visit SkyWatch and My World to see incredible and beautiful skies as well as intriuging and interesting places from all over the world. You will not be sorry!