Louise is in another state right now, with the girls, doing some business and visiting family.  I thought I might take this opportunity to put up a post of my own, a “guest post,” as it were.  Not too surprising, I get to read most of Louise’s posts before they get published, and if any typos sneak through, those are obviously my fault (duh).  So this is MY chance…

But this post is about something other than stamping, or food, or bicycling, or SkyWatch, or any of that stuff.  This is about Louise herself — and how she attempts to control certain aspects of her life.  Like most of us, Louise likes to be comfortable (and Louise would insist on me ensuring that we pronounce all four syllables: com-for-ta-ble.  No sloppy speech allowed.)  Anyway, as I said, Louise likes to be com-for-ta-ble.  Unfortunately, the celestial forces that have to align for this to happen are the stuff that Nostradamus might try to write about (not that I buy his scribblings — I do not).  I am just trying to point out how remote, and somewhat cloudy, the exact requirements are for Louise to indeed get comfortable. 

Let’s start with the temperature — in the car, in the house, wherever.  Sure, we all want to be not too hot, not too cold.  Like Goldilocks, we like it “just right.”  And so most of us have a temperature range within which we can be comfortable (say it with me…).  This is true of Louise, but in my experience, the cooler limit is actually above the warmer limit.  In other words, while some of us have a temperature range this wide:

Others have a range like this:

Louise is more like this:

And whether she is hot or cold, air (hopefully of the opposite temperature) CANNOT be blowing on her.  Room fans, in general, are for other people.  Now, this might not be too bad, but I am almost always warm.  I prefer a cooler temperature and sort of like cool air blowing — if nothing else just to move the air around in the house.  Needless to say, this is diametrically opposed to conflicts slightly with Louise’s desires for her immediate environment.  To further complicate this situation and despite her aversion to blowing air, Louise likes to have windows open for fresh air (which I do not mind, if it’s not hot outside).  To be fair, though, Louise is adamant about keeping a freezing South-pole-like fairly cool house — in the winter.  She is “cheap” in this area.   It saves money on heating.

You all know Louise likes to cook and eat.  I am truly blessed to enjoy healthy, delicious food on a daily basis (just check out my waistline).  However, Mexican food is one of Louise’s favorites.  But it can’t be too hot.  Wait, let me rephrase that, it is probably already too hot.  No matter how “not hot” you might think that salsa is, it’s too hot for Louise.  Her palate is hyper-sensitive.  I often have to try some food item, and always the salsa, to determine the level of discomfort it might bring to Louise’s delicate mouth.  Honestly, I can try something in which I can detect no heat at all (none; zilch; zip; nada), and she practicaly has to spit it out because it burns her mouth so badly.  And she loves Mexican food — really, she does.  I’m just not sure how.

And we live in the Southwest now, so you’d think she’d be in gastronomic heaven — somewhere, someone must have mild food, right?  But we live in New Mexico, which has its own style of food, where everything is almost always smothered in red or green chile sauce.  And is too hot.  All of it — trust me, we’ve tried them.  Still, she finds ways to accommodate, and she does OK.  But, whenever she leaves the state, a “real” Mexican restaurant is likely on the list of places to stop.

And Louise also likes to travel.  She’s always up for an adventure — the more off the beaten path, the better.  On top of this, Louise is always going to new addresses in our home town as she shares her passion for stamping with others.  And as much as she likes to go to new places, locally or around the world, Louise does NOT ask for directions.  Ever.  That’s my job.  [N.B.: I think this is one of the reasons she married me.  I’ll give the complete list of reasons in my next guest post.]  She does not like to plan routes (again, my job), check weather/traffic (me, too), or make hotel arrangements (even if she is traveling alone).  It sometimes gets to nearly absurd extremes.  If she’s out headed for a stamping event, running out of time, Louise will call ME to look on some online map service to find her destination and route, rather than stopping to ask directions.  It’s a little kooky, but it does allow me to “come to the rescue” on occasion.  So I don’t mind so much.

And I think most of you are aware of how friendly and genuinely compassionate Louise is.  You’d think she would thrive on interactions with people.  Think again.  (Yes, that would be my job.)  Whether it is having to call anyone for anything, or perhaps having to go in to some establishment (store, office, pharmacy, etc.) to actually talk to a person, Louise will exert every effort to find another way to resolve the situation. This means online ordering and paying, self-checkout (one or her favorite inventions) or sending ME to take care of it.  And the simple explanation for my involvement in this?  Because I am the designated “people person.”  You see, in real life (not blog life) Louise is abysmally quiet and shy quite reserved and very much an introvert.  I, on the other hand, am a fully functional human being, able to move comfortably (com-for-ta-bly) among and through society.  People are generally a source of great amusement for me, and so they do not weigh me down much at all.  As a result, the cost is much lower for me to interact with the rest of the idiots in the world humanity, and so (most of the time) I am forced to glad to step in and remove this burden from my spouse.

So, you see, Louise is in many ways a walking contradiction.  She loves people, but deplores interacting with them in real life.  She always wants the temperature to be comfortable (you can pronounce it properly now), but it never seems quite right and no matter what, no air can be blowing on her.  Louise is one of the most adventurous people I know, yet the actual mechanics of figuring out where one is and how to get to the next destination seems to be beneath her.  (Don’t get me wrong. She has a marvelous sense of direction and can read a map quite well. Which she has been known to purchase rather than asking directions, but…) And Mexican food is her favorite; she just can’t eat most of it. 

But despite these potential areas of friction between us, I love how we complement each other (that’s complement with an “e” — we do say nice things to each other, but that’s not what I’m getting at).  Living with Louise is never dull.  I can’t imagine anyone better. 

Unless she looked more like Angelina Jolie.  And were rich.  And really liked football. 

But that’s another post.

by Prince Charming