I am 43 years old. My age is not something I am afraid to tell people. My weight, on the other hand, is a giant secret (one which at the moment I do not even know).
I have been gone all day–about 14 hours. Well, I was home for about 45 minutes in the afternoon. Anyway, I was just checking my e-mail to see if there was anything pressing because I am tired and want to go to bed. But I got an e-mail that made me laugh so hard, it just seemed “blog-worthy” to me.
This was the attachment (taken with a camera phone, I assume):
You don't WANT to click to enlarge!!
This is a dress like one I am supposed to wear in a wedding in March. Are you laughing, too? It is strapless. Please, people! I am in relatively good shape, but I am no Supermodel or even non-Supermodel! I have NEVER worn strapless dresses–even in my young, willowy days. My dress has already been purchased. (The bride, by the way, saw this for the first time just a few hours before I did–also after the dresses had been purchased. Another wearer of said dress was on a trip where inexpensive clothing could be obtained. Am I crazy to think it is a little too fitted to be purchased without my trying it on?)
My weightlifting routine has been sadly neglected since last winter. Apparently it is time to kick it back into high gear.
OH NO!!! I just, as I was typing, realized something else. In March, every shred of my desert tan will be GONE! I am of Irish descent, and my skin is a clear indicator of that. What am I going to look like in March in a celery strapless dress? (Mind you everyone else but one in the wedding is of Hispanic descent. Their beautiful skin will look lovely next to this color. Mine will look hideous potentially a little pasty hideous.)
I just quit laughing. Now I am crying.
I may as well add here that I was doing a pretty fair job of catching up on blogs after my trip. But I will not be home a whole lot until Monday without a major project going on. I WILL get there. It is just taking a very long time a while.
On a happier note, if you have not done so already, please check out my card giveaway post here. You have until October 27 to enter.
October 22, 2008 at 9:59 pm
Uhmmm, it is a little fitted, and certainly strapless, and decidedly a difficult color for many people to wear comfortably. Perhaps you could get a spray tan right before the wedding to give you some color.
You’ve got until March to get used to the idea of this dress, right?
Brenda–
A spray tan is a GOOD idea. I will see what my skin looks like at the time. And yes, I have until March. I would have thought to lose a little weight, but it fits. I cannot lose weight to make my rib cage smaller!”
Louise
October 22, 2008 at 11:18 pm
Here’s another vote for a spray tan.
And a warning…the last time I wore a strapless dress was at age 29…and I think I got pregnant that very night. 18+ years ago!
The bride didn’t see the dress beforehand? Overzealous wedding planner!
Smalltown Mom–
See above about spray tan!
THANKFULLY it is impossible for me to get pregnant! God forbid such a thing. But I will admit that when I brought it home to try it on, Prince Charming wanted to see it on me, but I knew that’s not what he REALLY wanted!
As for the overzealous wedding planner… I did not know the whole story when I got the picture. Another person who will wear the dress was on a trip to San Diego where they apparently have some incredible outlets. (This dress, which is VERY nice in person, was $35.) She was with some other people who live there who will also be wearing the dress. The people that live there are size “0” and “young.” Thank goodness for the “older” one (not as old as me) who lives here because she talked them out of some other, MORE fitted ones. The bride is laid back and could not make the same trip, so was on and off the phone for four hours while three women were in this store discussing dresses. I guess it could have been a lot worse.
October 22, 2008 at 11:36 pm
I would be able to squeeze everything into it except my waist, but I have eight years on you and nobody could beat me into wearing anything strapless! Even with a tan, my skin would look hideous against that color. Maybe you could accidentally spill some dye in the wash water before the wedding? 🙂
Peidmont Perspective–
THAT is a good idea!
Louise
October 22, 2008 at 11:38 pm
If it’s any consolation, I’m no Supermodel either, and never even had any “young, willowy days.” The best I could ever manage was tree trunk with burl.
Here’s my vote for bribing the couple into eloping.
Marvin–
You are SO good at making me laugh! You are just too funny!
I like your eloping idea. I wish it could happen. I think the bride might go for it, but this is a Hispanic thing, and there are too many other concerned parties that would make her life difficult if she did it. I do not know that much about Hispanic culture, and I think this wedding is not ENTIRELY “Mexican,” but there are expectations that she has to uphold. The bride not-that-distantly from Mexico.
Louise
October 22, 2008 at 11:43 pm
from your picture – the color will look good on you.
I know, I know! an addition of a little see-thru bolero might work.
BTW loved your MY WORLD photo.
Tash–
A bolero… what a good idea. Unfortunately the “young” size “0’s” (see Smalltown Mom above) would not hear of it.
Thank you for your vote of confidence!
Louise
October 22, 2008 at 11:52 pm
You will look gorgeous. I would love to be your size, and I think you will look great in the dress. My friend who’s your age just had to wear a strapless dress in a wedding…she wasn’t crazy about it at all, but it wasn’t as bad as she thought it might be.
One word: underpinnings. Some of the skinniest women at the Oscars wear some kind of supportive undergarment that smooths the body (as much as they want us to think they’re that way naturally).
Jennifer–
Thank you for the advice. I’m already scoping out what places would be the best to go for such things. I know a former bridal shop employee/consultant who will tell me what shops are the best, or if I should go somewhere else. I’ve never worn anything like that, but this is just different. If only they could shrink my ribcage!
Louise
October 23, 2008 at 12:04 am
I would be scared of a fitted dress being bought without trying it on first. There are few styles that I would even attempt to do something like that and this does not fit that bill. I hope all goes well. I agree spray-on tan. I understand the white factor to coloring the joke in our family is that we have skin whiter than ghosts.
Christy–
So you can empathize! Life being pale has a lot of hazards! Imagine when I will be one of two pale people in the group!
Your blog is on my short list of ones to get to!
Lousie
October 23, 2008 at 2:18 am
Could luck with that project, if you choose to continue. I´m not sure if weightlifting is the way to go, as it usually adds weight instead of reducing it. At least that´s the way it happens with me.
Chrome–
The weightlifting might add some bulk, but that’s fine on my arms. I’m mostly concerned with triceps flapping and knocking someone over! OK, they’re not THAT bad, but compared with the rest of the young, skinny things wearing the dress, I’ll be the flabby giant!”
Louise
October 23, 2008 at 4:21 am
i think i know how you feel…
Maria–
Thank you for your support!
You’re also on my short list for blogs to catch up on!
Louise
October 23, 2008 at 4:37 am
That dress would be GORGEOUS with little spaghetti straps (I, too, DON’T do strapless) and in a nice, deep brown. Sigh.
Regardless, you’re going to be fine. Take Jen’s advice and get good, supportive underthings; that’ll make a HUGE difference.
Mrs. Chili,
Sigh, indeed. I LOVE brown! But I’ll admit in person the color was not horrible. But brown… OHHH, that would have been too good to hope for! Apparently one of the dress candidates was grey. Really, how many people look good in grey?
Louise
October 23, 2008 at 5:04 am
Well, I guess you could take comfort in the fact that all eyes will be on the bride.
As far as the fitted part, I agree it should be fitted on YOU. Goodluck!
Becky,
Yes, there are some small comforts in life! If I get the spray tan, I won’t even have a white glow that draws attention!
Louise
October 23, 2008 at 5:29 am
Uh, do I know this person getting married?
October 23, 2008 at 7:09 am
Wait a minute…who bought the dresses? They were purchased before the bride had a chance to see them? That’s crazy.
I’ll say NO NO NO to strapless bridesmaid dresses. We recently attended a wedding and watched the bridesmaids spend the entire evening pulling, tugging and hiking up their dresses. I’m not crazy about the lastest trend in those poofy tacked up skirts either. I’m old enough to realize brides will regret some of these decisions when they look at the wedding photos 25 years from now.
– Suzanne, the Farmer’s Wife
Suzanne,
Crazy, yes, but apparently not-so-crazy in their world? I do not understand
anythingmuch about the Hispanic culture, but this seems to not be such an usual thing for the situation.The person from here who went, on my behalf apparently, has insisted that we have some sort of shawl. Now I’m not too excited about having to try to keep that in place as well as the dress, but when the dress isn’t where it needs to be, I guess I can cover up.
The bride might not regret. She’s in love. But what are these other “bridesmaids” thinking?
Louise
October 23, 2008 at 7:14 am
Louise: I’m commenting from a man’s view point. Why does the bride look better if the brides maids are made to wear something as hedious as this? You will never ever wear it again in your lifetime. You probably can’t even modify it to look good. I would cry to if they gave me a jacket this color to wear.
Fishing Guy–
As Prince Charming says, “It’s so much simpler being a guy!”
Louise
October 23, 2008 at 8:33 am
I say it’s time for a personal trainer. I don’t care how much time you don’t have for one. There will be pictures.
Ducky,
I’m a good personal trainer for myself. I take the time to exercise. It’s more that I’d rather spend my money elsewhere.
But THANKS for the reminder of permanent pictures. That should help me be tougher on myself!
Louise
October 23, 2008 at 9:10 am
Ok, if you are really concerned about your skin tone compared to those with olive skin, DO use a self-tanner, but do of course try it out before the actual wedding so you know what to expect and don’t end up looking like a carrot in a lettuce-color dress. I have a story that compels me to give this advise, but I prefer (shudder) not to get into the detail… 🙂
Otherwise, I kind of like the style of dress, but I hope its tightness won’t preclude deep breathing! Also, do strap that dress so you won’t have to hoik it up every time you think someone isn’t watching.
How many bridesmaids are there?
Organic Mama–
“Carrot in a lettuce-color dress” was the funniest thing of all! How disastrous.
As mentioned above, there will be no deep breathing (assuming I can even zip the size bigger one).
How many bridesmaids? That’s an interesting question. I think there are 5. However, I’m standing up with the groom. (I’m including myself in the count because I think that’s how many dresses were purchased.) One of the Mexican traditions is that couples stand up with each person in the couple? Not sure of the details, but Prince Charming will be with the groom as well, as will the groom’s daughter (the only other pale person).
I love learning about different cultures, so this will be a big one!
Louise
October 23, 2008 at 9:36 am
why, why, WHY do brides do such things to their supposed “Dearest friends”
ack
Painted Maypole,
I don’t know, but I’m not putting too much blame on the bride for this one. And see above, I’m not even standing up with the bride, although she is planning the wedding, sort of, it is her young and thin and dark bridesmaids who seem to have the most control.
Louise
October 23, 2008 at 11:48 am
It is definitely odd that the dress selection was done without you or the bride, but the good news is that you have lots of time to plan for the wearing and there are lots of tricky “woman things” that can help you look your best. Smile big and you’ll be beautiful!
Morgan–
See my comment to Jennifer above. I’m so glad there are things available to help in these situations!
Lousie
October 23, 2008 at 12:33 pm
I am going to want to see pictures from this wedding.
Bruce–
I’m laughing again. Can you hear it from there? You probably can.
Louise
October 23, 2008 at 12:43 pm
It’s a good-looking dress and you’re a good looking gal. You’ll be fine.
And embrace your irish colouring – in fact get yourself a red colour on your hair, go for pale skin, red hair and pale green dress. You’ll look ravishing. Trust me…..
TBNIL–
I might trust you more than a lot of other people for that assessment. I’m just thankful YOU won’t be there, because then I’d have to compete with you, too! (I just have junk in my trunk.)
I’ve never had red hair, but I wore a red wig once and looked pretty awful. I don’t look bad in my neon pink wig. Maybe I should wear that! The problem with my pale skin is that’s it’s not porcelain pale. It’s just pale. It’s not lovely. It’s just pale. But as mentioned somewhere, I tried it on, and at this time of year (most of the tan gone), the color was not horrible.
Louise
October 23, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Awesome shot! The clouds are so cool.
October 23, 2008 at 1:07 pm
What a greate day for skywatch. Nice photo:)
October 23, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Good. Beautiful blue and white shot.
It looks like a painting.
October 23, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Like those clouds! Happy Sky Watch!
October 23, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Beautiful photo. The sky is very interesting. Happy SWF.
October 23, 2008 at 4:17 pm
Oh, honey , I am soooo feeling for you. I don’t do strapless either. How did the Bride not see them before hand? Isn’t that kind of her job? Oh I’m sending you lots of good luck vibes, sweetie!
*hugs*
Shimmy–
Thanks for your good thoughts. See above for all the reasons the bride did not see the dresses ahead of time!
Louise
October 23, 2008 at 5:17 pm
Lousise, these clouds look familiar. We had the same clouds last week and then it was followed by a series of storm clouds. I love the blue background and I always like the tree in the foreground.
October 23, 2008 at 5:40 pm
I love it when clouds get wispy like this. Nice shot.
October 23, 2008 at 6:43 pm
So if they expect you to look like a celery stick, is the buffet after the wedding vegetarian? Inquiring minds want to know….
“Louis”–
Do cows eat celery? I think I’m glad you are not on the guest list.
Thank you for your humor. It always makes me smile!
Louise
October 23, 2008 at 7:32 pm
You must be joking…lol. You have a nice figure and skin tone. I think I would looked ugly in that dress. Am short…lol
Your dress is so lovely. I have a wedding to attend in December too and I am still hunting for a suitable dress…lol. They all comes in black but I am trying to find a purple(dark) or maroon colour dress.
Alice–
You are MUCH too kind.
I’m sorry everything is black. Like Mrs. Chili said above, BROWN is a good color. Good luck!
Louise
October 23, 2008 at 7:49 pm
Isn’t it against the law for a bridesmaid dress to look good on anyone?
Wren–
Maybe THAT’S it! If I would have just gotten that through my head a long time ago, then all this worrying would have never happened! =)
Louise
October 23, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Okay – I’m laughing out loud, but only because it’s not ME who has to wear that. And please google the word “SPANX” and then spend some money, because I don’t care WHAT kind of shape you’re in, SPANX is in order. It won’t help with the color (dress or skin) but it might help you feel more comfortable. Maybe these dresses were such a good deal that after the bride has time to digest this piece of celery she’ll decide that it was money well-spent on an idea that won’t work and explore other options. Here’s to wishing!
Sorry I missed your call today. Probably no to LT. Can’t handle being left out 🙂
RFC–
I will go check out Spanx as soon as I get a few things caught up.
Louise
October 23, 2008 at 10:15 pm
I understand those spray tanning booths are the bomb!
If I were to be expected to wear that dress, I’d have to sew my lips shut…yesterday…no food from now until the wedding.
TSannie–
At first I thought you meant you would have to sew your lips shut to avoid alienating someone in the wedding party!
Louise
October 23, 2008 at 10:15 pm
(and I’m also laughing heartily)
October 24, 2008 at 12:03 am
Oh that is just too pretty! Delightfull photo for sky watch friday. Thanks for sharing and your kind comments on my post earlier.
October 24, 2008 at 7:30 am
Oh I think you’ll look great! I just can’t believe the bride didn’t see the dress or the bridesmaids didn’t get to try them on.
October 24, 2008 at 7:56 am
You got me laughing. Don’t worry about the tan! Get spray Painted! 😉
Cheers, Klaus
Tipper and Klaus–
See above comments!
Louise
October 24, 2008 at 8:19 am
Somebody has been mowing the sky!
October 24, 2008 at 9:24 am
Strong shot! A lot of movement…
Love how the foreground sweeps the eye up into the clouds…
October 24, 2008 at 9:27 am
#2 — oops, my comment above was meant for your SWF post…
Personally, I think that dress will look fine on you — but what I know about dresses you could fit on the head of a pin… If you don’t like the straplessness I suppose you could always add a short pair of suspenders…
Donald–
Hearty laugh! Maybe I should threaten to wear suspenders!
Louise
October 25, 2008 at 4:13 am
Really interesting clouds and nice pic:)
October 25, 2008 at 7:18 am
I’d also like to know WHO bought these dresses without the bride’s awareness and approval?
Hilary–
See above comments. The bride was aware and did approve. And a phone call WAS made to me during the process–to ask my size. But a later phone call was made that said they bought me one two sizes too big because everyone present had to get one two sizes too big, but “it should not be a big deal because the dress is ‘casual’ and ‘loose.'” (I supplied the emphasis.) Imagine my surprise when I saw the picture! And they got me one that was only one size too big. I’m too old and do not have enough interest in these types of things anymore!
Louise
October 25, 2008 at 8:04 am
Wonderful blue sky!
October 25, 2008 at 8:23 am
You will look beautiful. I think your pale skin will look fabulous against the celery green and I’m NOT joking. I do agree with you that this was one erratic purchase to make– a fitted dress for someone NOT there? Wow.
Did someone buy the bride her dress unseen as well?!
Jeri–
I think the bride likes her dress, but I think the one she has was not her first choice. She has had a lot of input from friends. It’s all quite foreign to me how this works. At least no one can accuse HER of being b!tchy!. She is not one of THOSE types of brides, but it seems to me, from my VERY limited experience here, that she is not allowed to make decisions by herself here.
Louise
October 25, 2008 at 8:12 pm
seriously.
that sucks.
celery?
fair skin?
first thing that comes to mind is celery and cream cheese…sorry.
maybe you have time to fly to ibiza and tan it up.
Leslie–
Can I fly to Ibiza anyway? Do you want to come along? By the time this wedding rolls around I will have endured another freezing cold few months in my house. I’ll be SOOOO ready for some warmth. Let’s do it!
Louise
October 26, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Nice photo.Happy SWF.
October 27, 2008 at 6:59 pm
OK, I was gargling on my tongue thinking this WAS you in your dress. Um, I couldn’t do it. Nope. No way. It’d be like salsa, the dress celery and me the tomato. Good luck, may the force be with you.
Erin–
All these food references!! Salsa is the perfect one–living here in the Southwest and all. And it being a largely Hispanic wedding.
I NEED the force!
Louise
March 12, 2009 at 10:35 am
[…] am making breadsticks for the wedding in which I wear the wonderful dress. I had to get the dress altered. It would never zip up, and my winter of being sick three times […]
March 13, 2009 at 7:33 am
Come on my dear, you are gorgeous in this dress!!!
Beautiful indeed!
So…. don`t worry and BE HAPPY !
Your friend Léia 🙂 By the way the little kitty Luna is here right now and she agrees with me!
March 18, 2009 at 7:36 am
[…] but I did not want to post her picture on here, either. (The only full-length photos of me in the dress were not on my camera. I hope to get a copy in a couple of weeks. I will have to crop out other […]