Note: The pictures in this post have nothing do do with the text. Chic turned 8 the day after Thanksgiving. These pictures are from her 5th birthday when her gift was a trip with me to Disneyland (including California Adventure). I think I can safely say it was one of the most fun times in both of our lives–just her and me. (Chicklet and Prince Charming are doing a trip for her birthday this spring.)

This is part of an ongoing series that has to do with some serious things going on in our family.

The first part is  On Tolerance, Part 1. The second part is On Tolerance, Part 2.

In 2007 New Mexico was ranked at #49 in academic achievement. When we moved here in 2002, I think it was ranked #51. (D.C. counts in these rankings, and they seem to try to keep that #51 spot.) This was really a good thing for me at the time because until we moved here, Prince Charming was adamantly in favor of public education, and I was adamantly opposed to it. When we moved here, he decided private (parochial) school or homeschool would be a good idea.

Homeschooling was never something in which I was really interested. In my little Southwest Missouri bubble before moving here, I was not impressed with most of the homeschooling parents I met. But when I moved to New Mexico, I changed my tune. I still did not really want to do it because my life is extremely active and busy, and I was pretty sure homeschooling would put a huge damper on that. However, I met several homeschoolers and their parents, and I could definitely see some benefits. The “they get no socialization” complaint is usually a bunch of garbage. There are plenty of ways for homeschoolers to socialize. What I liked about it was that the socialization can be more selective. I had homeschooled, teenage babysitters who listened to the same classical radio station I did and whose favorite books were similar to mine including many classics. It is not that this cannot happen in public school, but once kids go to school, it seems to me they become a product of their school and peers more than their parents. Homeschooling also allows great freedom in scheduling (trips and general life), and that appeals to me.

But alas, I did not choose to homeschool my children. Why? Mostly my schedule, but also because I believe strongly in my children having a Christian education (which I could provide, if needed).  But this also means I believe in the others of my faith having a Christian education, and if I chose not to support the local school with the enrollment of my children, that could be perceived as a knock against the school. So Chic started Kindergarten two years ago at the local church school and is now in second grade.

In the previous posts about tolerance I discussed the problems Chic is having because she is ahead of her class. Now let me be clear that I am not a “mama bear” type of parent. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I that is just not me. I am the type of parent that diligently tries to train my children to behave and be kind and be helpful, and if I hear a complaint about either of them, I ask them why they were not doing what they knew was right. I am also not one of those people that did not analyze everything I could imagine about being a parent before I did it. I never thought it would be “fun” or just something to enrich my life. I waited so long to have children because I knew the responsibilities would be great and my life would never be the same. So when the ridicule of Chic started coming up, I was totally unprepared for how to handle it. How can I explain to her the idiocy of fellow human beings and keep her humble and tolerant of those people? She was 7 when it became a strong problem. I have told her that sometimes people are jealous of those who appear to be more successful than themselves, but I really try to not put down the other children in the process so she will not think less of them. I do not really want to tell her that often people are afraid of those who seem superior in some way, so they try to bring others down. How can she care for her fellow human beings if I start telling her these things so young? (Sometimes I wonder if I am totally wrong in this approach.)

What I am learning, however, is that I do not think anyone is jealous of her. It never occurred to me that someone who is bright and successful in school and mostly well-behaved and extremely kind would be treated with disrespect. I noticed it early this school year on field trips. I am the only parent in Chic’s class that drives for every field trip. (Our school is small; we do not have buses.) This means my car gets crammed with 5 kids (including my two–Chicklet is not yet in school.) One of the extras pairs off with Chicklet, and the other two pair off together leaving Chic as the odd girl out. She doesn’t pout or whine or complain. Never a word, but I can tell it bothers her. She is not the type to force herself into a place, and her friends do not even pay attention to her. When there are even numbers of students, Chic has a friend, but when there are odd numbers, she is different and is the one left out.

How is she different? For one thing, she is not raised on pop culture. PLEASE understand I am not judging or condemning anyone who chooses to raise their children differently than we raise ours. We have to raise our children to the best of our ability in a way that works for our families. And I realize we are not “normal” in that aspect. We do not watch television. None. Not even the news. OK, this winter the girls and Prince Charming have watched a little football (gagging here), and sometimes when I am working in the evening, he will watch The History Channel with the girls. But that may be a twice-a-year thing. The girls do watch videos periodically, but mostly the television is not on. My girls know who Hannah Montana is, but that is from their friends, not from seeing her in our home. The same with High School Musical and whatever other similar movie was the latest one. Chic has no aspirations for being a reality TV star, but at the moment wants to be a marine biologist. (I really do not know from where that came.) So Chic might play somewhat differently than the other kids. But in my opinion she is quite imaginative in her play and would be fun. But she is different.

She is also different scholastically. She could read before she got to Kindergarten. (She picked that up on her own. Another reason I did not want to homeschool was that everything I tried to teach her seemed to fail dismally. But she later picked it up on her own.) At the beginning of second grade, her reading level tested at 6th grade level. No one else in her class is even close. Math is the same. (Not 6th grade, but way ahead of her class in ability to understand the concepts being taught.)

So I think about this and wonder why is she so far ahead? Is she really THAT smart? And why if she’s so advanced do the kids not like that?

To be continued on Friday…

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